what really drives certain people that aren’t managers to spread gossip and rumors that aren’t true about a fellow employee.
I once worked at a place where this employee sat talking to a fellow employee that was next to my stall for about 6 hrs. They talked nothing of work, but the weather, kids, etc. I said nothing about the situation, because it wasn’t my business and continued with my work putting my headphones on. As I continued to progress through out the quarter, I did way better than him in finding bugs, helping developers find the root of the problems, etc. etc. This same employee started getting mad at me, yelling at me and also spreading untrue gossip about me.
Basically trying to bully me in different ways. I was once called the VP’s pet behind my back.
It made me start to wonder:
1 ) did he really think that not doing work would get him any where?
2 ) did he really think that I was making him look bad because I was doing work and he wasn’t?
3 ) if he’s actually monitoring the amount of work that I’m doing, then are people realizing that he isn’t doing his work since he’s not my manager?
4 ) if he’s not actually monitoring the amount of work that I’m doing, then are people realizing that he’s saying BS or not understanding the context of what I’m doing? I alone doubled the amount of bugs that he was finding, my team tripled the bugs that he himself found. It wasn’t just the shear amount of bugs that I found but the quality of bugs, like crashers and that I did more in terms of helping out Tech Support, helping out the people making help files and doing the localizations…
5 ) is he really jealous that I am thinking in terms that I don’t believe that any job is permanent, and that the increase in value of what you do for the company increases your likelihood of not getting dismissed?
6 ) is he really stuck in high school and that petty?
7 ) Is he doing this to draw attention away from himself?
8 ) is it because he can only talk the talk but can’t walk the walk?
… my mind kept racing on trying to find the answer in how he was trying to justify it to himself.
I was dismayed by the whole situation. Esp when I found out that there are more people like him than just that company I worked for. I came to realize that there are people that are stuck in high school. No matter where you go, there will be people that are bullies trying to win for attention. It made me realize that there are people that I have to ignore, and sometimes have to ignore all the BS that goes on in the world or else my mind will just churn on the BS and not get anything done. Should I stay silent? I tried to tell him to stop. I tried to reason with him. Unfortunately, I came to the conclusion that if someone hates you that much and irrationally with prejudice, there’s not much you can do to change that. They will continue to hate you and psychotically claim that they are right and they will claim it out loud because they cannot handle being wrong at all. It’s not the easiest thing in the world to do, but my reaction should not be affected by their actions. At least I’m not related to them, so I don’t really have to take their BS. I seriously hate drama. One of my ex-bosses said to me this. “Keep your head down, and just keep working.” Somehow I had wished that I understood what she meant without me having to go through what I did to get to this spot where I am now.
And if you’re wondering, that guy does still work for that company I mentioned. I never mentioned the whole thing where he wasn’t doing his job and talking to other people. It’s not in my place as I’m not his manager. I came to the conclusion that a) he lacks the understanding of boundaries, b) that he lacks self esteem to have to put someone down that he deems is “lower” than him, and c) that he is co-dependent. I decided to accept him for who he is, and acknowledge that he will continue to hate me behind my back. I wish him the best of luck, regardless.
The good side of things is that I did learn a lesson from all of this, and I’m in a much happier place of mind now.